Dinner Mayhem
by TheLostMarauder18
Summary: Remus tries to pull a prank on Sirius and James. The result wasn't quite what he expected. Please Review.


Dinner Mayhem

Disclaimer: I can only wish I owned these charaters.

The four Marauders were eating dinner one night in the Great Hall when one Remus Lupin decided to prank his friends James Potter and Sirius Black for a change. Remus typically was just the aid or the one they came to for advice. But not tonight, tonight he would pull a fast one on them.

Remus was halfway through his shepherds pie when he started gazing at the ceiling. The others noticed their lycanthropic friend squinting at the ceiling and needless to say they were curious. "Um Moony, what are you looking at?" asked James.

"Well, I think I see some writing that says 'Albus loves Minnie', up there, but I'm not sure." The three other boys exchanged excited looks and looked up to scan the ceiling for, in their opinion, the most hilarious thing ever.

While they were looking for the nonexistent declaration of love, Remus began putting drops of a potion he had made especially for this occasion into his three best friend's food. "Are you sure you saw that Moony, because we've looked over the whole ceiling and it's nowhere," said Sirius.

Not believing he had fooled his friends, Remus stuttered out," Trick of the eyes I guess."

Noting the stutter in Remus' voice, Sirius said in a joking manner," What's up with you Moony, you seem nervous about something, anything Dr. Padfoot can help with," he finished by waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Remus looked at Sirius nonplussed by this. "Pardon"

"You know," he said, giving a nod towards the girls sitting further down the table and once more waggling his eyebrows." Help with the ladies, heh heh."

Realizing what Sirius was saying, he donned a scandalized demeanor. "Padfoot I have no idea how you came to the conclusion that I have trouble communicating with females, but I can assure that I do not."

Next to Sirius, James and Peter were laughing hysterically at the exchange. "Aw come on Moony, how can you say you don't have trouble when you're calling them females. I mean who says,'hey lets go find some females to snog,' It's just not sensible my friend.

"Since when do you know what is and isn't sensible anyway?" asked Remus quickly getting angry. "I have no problems with "girls" and that's that, quit snickering you two," he yelled in James and Peter's direction.

"Sorry Moony, but it's just so funny that this argument came out of nowhere. I mean where did you get girl trouble from Padfoot?" he asked looking questioningly at his best friend.

"Well Prongs, I was looking for that writing about Minnie and Dumbldore and I just kinda thought about how you have a lot of girl trouble."

It was James' turn to look scandalized while Remus and Peter laughed."I don't have girl trouble, can you even come up with an example of what girl wouldn't jump at the chance just to talk to me?" he asked outraged.

"Evans," Sirius said smugly.

James' eyes widened and he began to make strange gestures and talk nonsense because he was at a loss as to how to get his friend back for poking fun at his trouble with the illustrious Lily Evans. The other boys renewed their laughter at James' antics. Suddenly James stopped his comical routine and attacked Sirius. "That's none of your business you bugger!" James shouted.

Their scuffle had now drawn the attention of the rest of the Hogwarts population and more importantly the strict Transfiguration teacher, Minerva McGonagall. Some of the newer students were terrified because they thought this was a fight for blood. The older students, however, were used to Sirius and James' fights and some had begun to place bets on who they thought would win.

Peter and Remus were among the students placing bets. "One Galleon on James, Wormtail," Remus said to Peter.

He contemplated the bet for a moment before making his decision, "You're on Moony."

A crowd had gathered around the fighting boys and it was keeping a livid McGonagall from getting to them. The fight was drawing to a close and it looked like Sirius had won this one because James was ticklish and he was not.

There were groans throughout the hall from the ones who bet on James. A sour-faced Remus handed over a galleon to a delighted Peter, a look of disgust was on Lily's face, and a very angry McGonagall had finally forced her way through the crowd followed by an amused Dumbledore.

"Potter!!Black!!" barked the Deputy Headmistress."What on earth is this about?" She demanded while giving them a terrifying glare that would send most students into a state of silence and immediate shame.

The Marauders were experts on "Minnie's Glare of Death" though. James dusted himself off and explained," Well you see Minnie," her nostrils flared at the use of the nickname, "We were having a slight disagreement and we decided that a physical demonstration would be more beneficial than a long and mentally exhausting battle of wits." Sirius was next to James nodding his head mock seriously to go along with the ploy.

Eyes twinkling behind his half-moon spectacles, Dumbledore answered," That seems like a satisfactory reply to me Minerva," McGonagall gawked at the Headmaster, at a loss as to why he was letting the troublemakers go without punishment."However, next time there is a disagreement between you two, promise me you will take a less confrontational alternative to muggle fighting," the old man said with a smile.

Sirius saluted him saying, "You have our word sir."

"Very well then I will leave you to your meal," said Dumbledore giving the boys a small wink. McGonagall watched as the Headmaster headed back to his seat at the staff table, still disbelieving that he let The Marauders off the hook.

"Nice guy, Dumbledore," muttered Sirius to James. James nodded in agreement and then noticed Lily looking towards them. His hand jumped to his messy black hair immediately. Seeing this, Lily rolled her eyes and turned to talk to her friends."Told you, Prongsie," teased Sirius.

The other boy narrowed his eyes at him, "Shut up you prat!"

Remus was sitting next to Peter discussing the fight when a dazed McGonagall sat down at their table and picked up a roll from Sirius' plate. Since he was distracted by the earlier events, Remus had forgotten all about the prank.

While James was talking heatedly to Sirius, McGonagall took a bite out of the roll. The effect was immediate. Her ears began to shoot out steam and her skin turned yellow. Every head in the hall turned towards The Marauders for the second time that evening.

Remus paled after realizing that she had eaten the tainted food, he then made a big mistake."Oh bloody hell!!!" he exclaimed. The students and staff then turned to look at him.

McGonagall had grown a layer of feathers the color of her yellow skin and her face had come to a point like a ducks. "Detention, Lupin!!" she shouted between quacks and flaps of her newly grown wings.

Remus hung his head in shame as everyone in the hall laughed at the transformed Transfiguration teacher. His friends were patting him on the back saying how brilliant the duck potion idea was and wondeing why they themselves hadn't thought of it.

He couldn't believe his plan had backfired. It had been working so well until Sirius changed the subject randomly. Wait a minute! They knew didn't they!

He looked over at the two boys who were wearing innocent expressions. "You gits!!" he shouted chasing the laughing duo out of the hall leaving a confused Peter and students in their wake.


End file.
